I don’t know why in the past ten years, these intrusive thoughts have gotten worse. I hurt people I love and care about and don’t even know why. I experience paranoia and extremely black and white thought patterns. I’ve always had intrusive thoughts growing up since I do deal with OCD, but it was only at a certain age in my early twenties, where they became more violent and sexual. I’ve been told a lot of thoughts I get aren’t even mine. How long does it take to discover which ones are who’s? I have found most recently that I just do better alone and in near silence.
I have been participating in a DBT group to finally learn new and healthy coping skills. I’m hoping this and other things help in such a way that I can change my whole life around and be a better version of me.
I finally banished someone from my life for the billionth time. Here’s to hoping…billion times the charm. Wish me luck facing this world on my own.